Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Uma: a pot that few are willing to piss in

I've just watched the Coen brothers' A Serious Man again, and the theme of seriously shitty things happening to arseholism-neutral people may very well be a social-realist allegory of the career arc of Uma Thurman. Two Tarantino films, a Gilliam and a Linklater aside, she also has the legendary hummer Avengers staring up at her from her IMDB page, plus her Batman & Robin was recently voted Worst Film Ever by Empire readers. Jennifer Aniston clearly deserves that kind of fate, but surely not Uma?

But it appears even that wasn't enough to satisfy the wrathful god of cinema. Her latest expedition, Motherhood, was released in the UK this past weekend – and took just £88 in its first weekend. Of that, only £9 was taken on the Sunday - meaning just one person saw it that day.

At £9 for an 90 minutes... allowing double time for Sundays... Uma was on the equivalent of just £3 an hour. Jesus, the UK National Minimum Wage is £5.80. This was brought in to protect workers, surely there must be something we can do to highlight this poor lass' plight?

By the way, we need to find the one person who actually saw Motherhood on that Sunday...


  1. Ouch! Just one sad silhouette watching - very poor. Madonna has to be Queen of the Screamers though - even brought her bad form to Bond, appearing in the worst film the franchise has ever managed

  2. Woulda be great to find that cinema and do the 'ol Trigger Happy TV bit... remember when he used to put on that massive afro wig and sit in front of someone??

  3. Aye, Mondo. i think the lights truly went out Madonna's acting career when was cast as a stuck-up diva bitch in Swept Away and failed to pull it off. Terrible. I made it through 15 minutes of that film. Possibly my greatest-ever feat of endurance.